Saturday, February 26, 2022

A Silver Platter

 





I love hard.

I care deep.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve. 

I also offer others trust on a silver platter. 

                                    
                                

Trust is something I openly share with those I meet. If I don't know a person, they haven't given me  reason to not trust them. This is who I am. I enjoy assuming the best in others and giving them my all. Now don't get me wrong. I won't walk up to the first person I meet and spew my deepest thoughts or personal information. However, I will openly get to know them. 

I find that being who I am is more difficult for others. My vulnerability in sharing, caring, loving, giving and trusting often has people on edge. I am not sure if that is because I am extremely open or if it is because others believe trust needs to be earned. 

I recently allowed several teens at our house for my first ever teenage New Years Eve party. I shared with all of them that I assumed they would be kind and respectful to each other and follow the rules while in our home. Although I knew many of the teens arriving, there were several I hadn't met before. I explained that they all had my trust. I told them I have no reason not to trust any of them. I went on to say that if they made a decision to break my trust it would be a difficult journey to earn it back. 


January 1, 2022 I woke up to several teens sleeping in my basement.  It looked like a morgue with dead bodies laying all over the floor. There was a pile of boots, hats and gloves that carried with them the smell of the fire they had the night before. I saw empty chip bags, pop cans, water bottles, cell phone chargers in every outlet and smelly boy socks. It looked like it would take hours to have my house back to normal again. 

As they were waking up I made them breakfast. They ate together, shared funny moments from the night before. When they finished eating, each one of them took their plates to the sink and thanked us for allowing them to have a fire the night before.

I began doing the dishes and hearing trucks start up outside. I believe it was close to negative 30 degrees in Minnesota that night. I was fully expecting them to all leave and go about their day. However, I went to the basement a short time later to find out that ever sleeping bag was rolled up, each cot was put away, the chip bags clipped together, pop cans picked up and the garbage was taken out. You guys, I didn't even ASK them. They just did it. This is trust! I believe they felt trusted and respected and in turn wanted to keep the door open for future gatherings. 

Could you imagine if I started the night out assuming the teens would not follow the house rules or that all teens make bad decisions? Perhaps I shamed them or ran through a list of things not to do? 

Maybe I was just lucky. I won't ever know. Deep down I think that they felt trusted and didn't want to break the trust they were given. Typically speaking not a ton of people speak highly of teens and especially not teen boys. 

I am curious how the world might change if we leaned into assuming the best in others and trusting from the beginning. Is there an opportunity to get hurt? Of course there is. I try to think about all of the missed opportunities when I am cautious and don't jump in with two feet. I understand that we are all different and have all had different experiences that allow us to trust freely or have others earn our trust first. It is a gamble and it is a gamble I am willing to take. 


Some of my relationships have an amazing ironed out sheet of paper

Some of my relationships have a few wrinkles.

Yet look like the image below. 

I am willing to take the risk. 

I thrive on deep meaningful relationships. 





Thursday, February 24, 2022

The Judgments We Place on Kids and Families

 I recently read the article Why is That Child So Rude by Beth Lindsey Templeton. I encourage you to read the article and share your thoughts with me either in the comments or when I see you next. 


 For those of you that know me personally you know exactly how this article sits with me. Who are we to assume what is going on with a child or a family? Seriously, can we make assumptions based on the limited knowledge we have in our hands? 



The article points out some examples of the assumptions humans make. It also leaves our another handful of options that could be the reason why. It seems this article focuses mainly on issues of income or parent working split shifts. Although this is a significant area where funds of knowledge differ, I see gaps in only sharing one perspective. There are other funds of knowledge that the article did not address. I will try to explain a few missed opportunities for other funds of knowledge. 


Children with special needs. Could it be possible that a child might show up daily with the same clothes on because they are sensitive to clothing and will only wear specific shirts or pants? Could a child that interrupts frequently have a delay in short term memory which leads to shouting out before they forget what they were going to say? 


Children with mental health situations. Might a child that is sleeping in class fall asleep because they feel safe at school. Perhaps this child spends the night wide awake due to domestic abuse, addictive parents or sexual assault potential in their home. Is school the only safe place to sleep? Perhaps! Mental health can also increase the need for control. Children might be viewed as bossy when their desire for control enhances. A child might wear the same clothes or be withdrawn if they have fallen into a state of depression. If a child is depressed are they rude for sleeping or do they need support and this is their way of seeking help? 


These are just two funds of knowledge that are left out of this article from my perspective. There are many others left out as well. If we, as parents and educators, continue to judge children and families without trying to walk beside them and figure out the details are we really doing what is best for children? 

As adults we teach young children to be kind, compassionate, show empathy, be caring and help others out. Yet, at times, the adults are the people making assumptions about families based on the actions of children. How many times have you heard "where were the parents?" or "If that were my child." statements? 




We can do better. We can change our judgements into curiosity. When we become curious we learn. When we learn we can figure out the root of the perceived rude and support the child and the family in whatever they are walking through. 

The power is yours! 

Run with it.  


Video recap of Funds of Knowledge 

Sunday, February 13, 2022

What Stories are We Sharing?

 I recently was asked to listen to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie as she shared the danger of a single story in a TED talk. As I listened to her speak I began to question stories shared within our homes and schools. I observed stories shared at circle time within classrooms, I scanned the libraries in our community and the books on the shelves in my own house. 

I realized that we, as in every person alive, have a lot of work to do in sharing the stories of others. Not only in the books we have in our hands but the stories we share verbally in our communities and the discussions that take place in and out of our schools. 

Check out her TED talk here.




A Silver Platter

  I love hard. I care deep. I wear my emotions on my sleeve.  I also offer others trust on a silver platter.                                ...