A Pinch of This, A Dash of That, To Taste! Oh, the JOY!

One of my greatest joys is being in the kitchen. I love to cook. Cooking brings out my creative side and it is often a place I can calm after a long day and center my thoughts. I could get lost in the kitchen for hours creating new meals or spicing up an old favorite. I have learned that I also view cooking as a social event. We have family dinners that bring us together at the end of the day. We often invite friends and family over to deepen our connections. My husband and I also love to host events and make a pretty darn good team when we do. 

Since cooking is a hobby for me. I often cook as if I was feeding an army of hungry soldiers and not just our family of five. This means I will take food to the neighbors, to co-workers, friends or family. I find joy in being able to share with others. One day a good friend asked if she should have my recipe for homemade chicken noodle soup. 

Recipe? She wanted a recipe! I should have been happy. This should have brought me joy and excitement. It didn't, I panicked. I didn't have a recipe. In fact, there hasn't been two times that my chicken noodle soup has tasted the same. A pinch if this, a dash of that then take a taste. What is it missing? What can I add? 

Chicken noodle soup is an all day project. First, I make homemade chicken broth by cooking down the chicken with all kinds of veggies, seasonings and spices. I am not even sure I look at the names of the spice container. Typically I just taste, smell and toss in a few sprinkles of this or half the jar of that depending on my mood. 

In my hysteria, I realized that I will need to write down my steps. I have to share this recipe with her. Cooking is an act of service for me. It is my way of showing love. I cannot let her down. Furthermore, won't my children want these recipes to use with their children? 

I tried, I tried really hard. Here is what I came up with. 

In a stock pot toss in a whole chicken, fill with water and add whatever veggies you have (carrots, celery-leaves and all, onion-don't forget the peel they have lots of nutritional value, garlic), dump in pepper to taste, add a dash of salt and pinch of pepper flakes or half the bottle if you like it spicy. Bring to a boil then simmer for as long as you need to. The chicken should fall off the bone. 

While the chicken is cooking cut up carrots, celery and onion. As many as you would like and to whatever size you think looks appealing. Once the chicken is falling off the bone you will need to drain the stock into another large stock pot. Then remove all of the bones from the chicken and toss the chicken back into the broth. You may or may not have enough broth, depends on the amount you wish to make today. If you need more stock you can add water and chicken bullion, or vegetable bullion if you prefer. You can also use pre-canned stock if you wish. Add as much or as little as you desire. Taste the broth and decide if you like it. If not, dig in your seasonings and find things to add. You can add: garlic, oregano, red pepper, onion powder, pepper, thyme, basil, parsley, celery salt just to name a few. Taste and add anything you are in the mood for. 

Next, add your cut veggies and boil until tender. Add any kind of noodle you prefer just before you wish to serve the soup. My boys prefer the frozen noodles that have a homemade feel to them. That's it! I was so proud. I gave her this recipe and a few weeks later she attempted to make it. Her husband asked, "How much water do we add to the chicken?" Her response was, "Melissa doesn't cook that way." 

In my mind I failed her. I couldn't provide a recipe that met her needs. I couldn't teach her in a way that my mind worked. Why not? I believe it is because this world is full of all different types of learners. Just because I can go all willy-nilly in the kitchen and create dinner doesn't mean someone else can. 

Then it hit me. I cannot bake! I can't! Look at the cookies below. Do you see how flat one is and how plump the other is? 

This is my baking life. Flat cookies! I can't bake pies or cakes. Several years ago I decided to make my husband a French Silk pie, his favorite. It was his birthday and I wanted to surprise him. He knows I cannot bake, he typically does the baking in our house (see impressive cakes below). When he arrived home we had an amazing dinner. Remember, I can cook. I open the refrigerator to grab the pie that needed to "set" for a few hours and notice it was moving. Yes, moving! As in the pie was liquid! I placed it on the table and just about lost my mind. My husband saw the look of panic, the tears starting to form and just started laughing. Laughing hysterically! He was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. Our boys were young, 6,3 and 2 years old. They looked at my husband laughing and then me close to tears.

Why? Why did this have to happen? Why, for the life of me, can I not bake? He is a champion, my rock and a quick thinker. He noticed the look of confusion on the boys faces as he was laughing and I was close to a meltdown. Quickly he grabbed 4 straws and the boys began to drink the pie through a straw. Yep, the drank the pie I failed at making. We laughed then and we still laugh about it today.  I didn't ever make that pie again. 

I realized that I cannot bake because I don't enjoy measuring, following the step by step instructions and have a hard time reading things like "cook and serve" on a Jell-O pudding box. The recipe clearly called for instant pudding and I tossed in cook and serve. Well, it does NOT work! 

Here is a few of his creations. He made our oldest a popcorn cake, our middle a big machines, our youngest an owl and he made me my favorite strawberry cake with lemon frosting. This is a baking level I will likely never achieve. My brain does not work this way. I need to accept that. This is why we make a great team when we host events. I cook, He bakes. 

       

One day I had an epiphany. I can learn to bake. Why can't I? As a teacher I educate children and adults with varying learning styles. Why can't I overcome this mental block I have learned to accept and be and overcomer? I can. I just never tried. I tossed in the towel and allowed for others to fill in the gap. 

I became vulnerable. 

I asked for help. 

I admitted I do not know how to bake cookies and I wanted to learn. I have a good friend that bakes the most delicious cookies. My whole family looses their mind when she delivers her perfectly round, plump, moist cookies. One day I asked her if I could watch her bake cookies. It was obvious I was not being successful by following the directions to the same recipe she used. Remember the photo above, yep flat cookies! Perhaps, I could learn by watching. She had to be doing something different, and she was. Though watching her I learned a few things. I learned that my butter was much softer than hers, I over mixed when adding the flour and I baked them too long. My mind works on looks and feel. When I baked cookies I tossed in the butter, mixed till I was in the mood to stop and never set a timer instead I relied on looks alone to decide when they are done baking. 

I am very grateful for her. The next day I baked 3 batches of perfectly plump cookies. They are in the photo above next to my flat failure cookie. Look at the difference, that difference was made when I was vulnerable and asked for help. When I was vulnerable I was able to admit that I may need a different teaching method. Then, and only then, was I able to experience pure joy. The joy of baking successfully after years of telling myself I couldn't do it.  

I cannot ignore the space in-between the failure and success, which was messy and ugly. I cannot ignore the many millions of failed attempts. I could still be living in the mindset that baking isn't my thing if I hadn't put myself out there, asked for support and understand that I needed something different. But I am not, I chose to take a risk! When I took that risk I was able to be thankful and appreciative for her support and we both found pure joy, together. The joy we experienced baking that day will not be forgotten. 

I was able to show my gratitude by delivering fresh baked cookies to her and her family. Guess what? They were not flat! 

Brene Brown says we need to "Practice gratitude; lean into joy." This is one way we can live our lives fully. Her entire TED talk is here Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability. I encourage you to listen and share your thoughts in the comments below. I can't wait to see how her words impact you.